Resolutions

I don't like to make NY resolutions. At least I don't like to call them that. So I will just call them resolutions for my life going forward. I have a lot currently and I think it's good to be trying to bettering yourself all the time. Here we go with my list: Switch to cloth diapers, shop more at local small businesses, participate more in communities that are important to me (vegan & christian), be more involved in helping in those communities, be more open to people, watch less tv (especially when Kellen is awake) and be more patient. Quite a laundry list, but I'm hopeful that I can make progress on it. I do have to say that once I have baby 2 I'm pretty sure all bets will be off and I will be holed up in my house for at least 3 months ignoring the outside world. I'm really okay with that even if it doesn't fit into my list of resolutions. I think it's important to focus on the baby's schedule and trying to rest and heal those first couple of months.

Today I found myself in a position to work on one of my resolutions. I needed a gift for a 1 year olds birthday party this weekend. I thought "perfect! There is a locally owned toy store one town north." I checked their hours and I was golden, so up I headed. Well, I have to say it wasn't the small town store feel I had hoped for. Clearly they don't expect many customers on a Wednesday afternoon. There were huge boxes littering their already tiny store, so it was kind of scary for me carrying Kellen around trying to get through. Not one of the several employees I saw greeted me at any time or even acknowledged my existence as their one and only customer at the time. I briefly wondered if I was invisible, but I'm pretty sure they couldn't miss me fumbling around with a 1 year old. I did find a cute gift that I probably wouldn't have found at a large department store. It was a cute little pony purse that I'd have loved when I was a little girl. However, when I went to pay the lady at the counter seemed irritated to put her binder away and say to me "Are you all ready?". Ummm yeah lady that's the idea when I put my item on the counter and got out my wallet. Maybe she'd have noticed if she bothered to look up at me. After I paid and got in the car all I could think was "I could have gone to Wal-Mart and gotten that kind of service." So disappointing to say the least, but everyone has a bad day right? Maybe they should just close on Wednesday to restock and do the books or whatever she was working on. Anyways I will not let this detour me from my local shopping adventures! I shall not I say!

Next up is going to a Mom 2 Mom group meetup at the church tomorrow as part of my getting involved more in community and being more open to people. It's a big step for me if I actually go because the friend I usually go with isn't going. Plus I have anxiety about leaving Kellen in the day care they provide because, well, how do I say this.... I'm neurotic about my baby.. yes that's really the only way to say it. I have anxiety about leaving him with anyone that isn't a grandparent or aunt. I've done it a couple of times so far this year at Mom 2 Mom and Church and so far he hates it and typically doesn't last very long, but Mark (my husband) and I agree it's good for him (and me). He should get to the point that he can socialize and play with kids his age. I am trying to tell myself I will not skip tomorrow, I will not skip tomorrow. He will be fine, I will be fine. Oh Lord. I feel the urge to skip it creeping in. Ahhhhhh.... We'll see how it goes in the morning. I'll be sure to update my crazy Momma status.